Peace in the Middle East...
According to Jimmy Carter, Hamas is ready for peace -- if Israel withdraws to its 1967 boundaries (i.e., cedes all of the West Bank, Gaza, Golan, and half of Jerusalem) immediately, it will agree to a ten-year cease-fire.

Translation: "If you accede to our demands right now, we won't attack you¹ for the next ten years."

My suggested answer: "Cus 'emac.²"

¹ Of course, we reserve the right to arrange for other groups to attack you, or to transfer our weapons to other groups.

² When one of my officemates asked what that phrase meant, someone else walking by translated: "Well, the second word means 'your mother.'"

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